Monday, 20 August 2018

Taking Myself On Dates

I've known for a long time that this would be good for me but for various pessimistic reasons I never did anything about it. Not anymore though! I have promised myself dates, I'm going to try and take myself on a date once a week. When we are relaxed and not trying really hard to think about work it opens our brains up to thoughts we wouldn't have otherwise had, these new thoughts and relaxed-ness makes us more creative. Also everyone deserves time off.
Another reason this will be good for me is that I don't leave the house very often and when I do it's very much to get something done. Food shopping, post office, I need a pen. I get out, do the thing, come home. When I'm going to go out I get anxious about it and take a lot of time making sure I'm actually ready to leave the house. While I'm out I'm super aware of myself and everyone around me and it feels horrible. Going outside more often will surely only help me with this.
So I'm taking myself on dates, it doesn't have to be anything special it just has to be not work and truly not work. Not like how I sit on the sofa in the evening feeling guilty that I'm not working and thinking about what work I'll do next and being tired because it's the end of the day. No work, no chores, just date. Once a week for a few hours or whatever. Some time to myself to tune out.
My first date with myself I decided to check out some charity shops I haven't visited in forever. I had some birthday money so I didn't have to risk finding things I couldn't afford and getting sad (something else I'm going to work on, I'll never enjoy shopping centres but I'm going to learn to enjoy wandering round interesting places without spending money) and I had a nice time. I even found some new clothes.

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A pair of bright yellow joggers, they look cute with the hems rolled up and I'm going to try and add pockets. And a pink jumper. What I really need is cardigans but big jumpers are a weakness of mine. And then I had a wander round Loose's, a second hand, antique, collectable, jumble wonderland and I just by chance came across these copies of Deadline with Tank Girl on the cover and nearly cried. I couldn't believe it. I have no idea if these issues are important or rubbish but I don't care about such things. Tank Girl is so important to me and this is where she's from and it had never occurred to me to try and find any copies (how are magazines from so long ago still intact?! It always amazes me.) and here these were, just waiting for me! And if they aren't cool enough, one of them still has a fuckin' Booga trading card attached to the front!!!!!! I still can't quite believe it. There's a bit of mould round the edges but I reckon I'll be able to get the worst of it off.
Then I got some snacks and I sat cross legged on a bench with my bike leaned up next to me and I ate my snacks and it was awesome and I came home and my first date was a success. I already feel like it's working (and not just because I bought some cool stuff).

If you want to see me ramble some similar stuff and see the things I bought moving around that's in a weekly vlog video with some other bits and pieces here.

Saturday, 18 August 2018

Sketchbook: Dec '17 - Aug '18

Sketchbook: Dec'17 - Aug '18

I filled up a sketchbook recently and I don't hate it! This is weird for me, I normally get half way through or just over and it starts to drag. I just want to get to the last page and start in a new, more lovely book. Sometimes it's because the drawings I've done aren't doing it for me and sometimes it turns out the book itself wasn't the right choice but I rarely get to the end of a sketchbook without wishing it was already over.
I always get to the end though, can't waste a sketchbook.

Sketchbook: Dec'17 - Aug '18

This sketchbook wasn't perfect (obviously, considering I don't have access to a "proper" art shop so I have limited choice and also a very small budget and what is perfect anyway?) I was worried that the pages being perforated would be a problem but oddly none of the perforated lines came loose but a few of the actual pages came off the binding. I think how the pages turned over the perforated sections was too harsh and the binding just got worked too much. The paper was fine, white and smooth which I love but sometimes I felt it was a bit smudgy when I was rubbing out. That might be to do with all the other variables though (type of rubber, pencils, pens, my greasy moisturiser hands, thanks eczema). It had a really solid hardback cover and opened nice and flat, I often worked on both sides of the pages and stuck lots of things in too. Overall it was a good book. If you're interested it's a Winsor and Newton Heavy Weight Case Bound Sketchbook, I used the A5 one.

Sketchbook: Dec'17 - Aug '18

These scans are some of my favourite drawings but there's a flip through video on my youtube if you'd like to see the whole thing. There are so many drawings and ideas in here that I'll be going back to to re-work into something more fancy or some sort of thing to hold in my hands (and maybe put in my shop). I always like remembering the time that the sketchbook spans and this book definitely got me through some stuff, it maybe isn't full of amazing art in itself but I can see how it got me to a new place creatively and I feel like I'm so much better off than when I started it. Although, I started it in the winter so let's hope it wasn't just seasonal affective disorder and I'm actually in a better place! (≧∇≦)

Sketchbook: Dec'17 - Aug '18

Saturday, 11 August 2018

New Year (Birthday) Goals

Having a birthday got me thinking and it occurred to me that it's odd that with the new year comes resolutions and goals and reflection but with birthdays not so much. I mean, it's not really odd, everyone goes through the new year together so there's the companionship (or social pressure) of everyone making goals at the same time which probably helps a lot of people (and makes us hear about it) but I thought a birthday would be a good chance to reflect and focus and junk.

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Untitled

So my birthday goal this year is a good simple thing that I think will make my life better. I'm going to be more chill. It sounds stupid but it's not. I'm a stressed mess and I explain myself too much out of insecurity and I hold myself back in so many ways and I have a nice life and I'm letting it slide past while I think about what I need to do better or what I don't have and while I still want to work towards better things or new things I want to have actually done each day because that's all we've really got.

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Untitled

Everyone has problems and I don't think anyone should be comparing others or themselves in terms of better or worse for anything but I am really lucky. I'm lucky to have been born where I was, I'm lucky to be keeping a roof over my head, in the grand scheme of things I have a safe life and sometimes I feel like I've been wasting it. I just want to fully appreciate what I've got and enjoy it. I want to be more chill. I still want to get angry about injustices, I don't want to be detached from things that are actually important but sometimes things seem important and they don't need to be. I want to be happy and I want to save my energy for where it's needed, whatever that might be.

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I want to just live and do whatever I want (in a not selfish way)(ok it's maybe a bit selfish but not like in a harms anyone else way). I care more about being true to myself than about what other people might think. I want to be more chill. This is my goal for my new year ^_^

Friday, 10 August 2018

My Birthday! ~ Whitlingham Broad

Birthday Weekend ^_^

It was my birthday at the start of the month and I took a long weekend away from everything. My parents came to visit, I didn't work or look at social media, I just relaaaaxed. And it was so needed and good.

Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^

My birthday was the Friday and we just hung out, had cake and pizza then on Saturday we went over to Whitlingham Broad. It's just on the edge of the city so quite close to us but we've never been. It's really nice over there, I spend most of my time inside but I love nature and being out in it and picking things up and touching leaves or whatever. It's just a good satisfying time.

Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^

We also went to Mousehold Heath, we wanted to find the city view and after going to the entirely wrong section we found it. There had been a lot of fires up there because of how dry it's been but I kind of liked how some of the plants looked. Especially this one with the fluffy, non-burned bits at the ends.

Birthday Weekend ^_^
Birthday Weekend ^_^

All in all it was a good birthday, I had a really nice time, I was thoroughly spoiled and it's a week later and I'm still feeling refreshed and happy and productive ^_^

You can check out my video from the weekend here.

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Little Bits 2 and Painted Patches ~ Shop Update

Little Bits 2 and Handmade Patches

Some new bits in my shop ^_^
The second issue of Little Bits, always proud to actually do a second of something that had "issue 1" written on the front of it (≧∇≦) and some hand painted (and hand sewn) patches.
Here's the "don't touch" tiger.

Little Bits 2

Little Bits 2

Little Bits issue 2 listing.

Little Bits 2

Body Positive Patches

Patches celebrating all the beautiful tum tums here.

And here's the gif of my zine in colour because colour is best. If you're here from the zine then thank you so much (/ω\)


Wednesday, 25 July 2018

Been Painting

Been Painting

Every couple of years I get an urge to try painting with acrylic. And every couple of years I decide that I don't like painting with acrylic and I never will. That need to paint with acrylic came back around again and this time I decided I actually quite like it, a lot. I've had a pack of paper coasters that someone gave me in my paper drawer for years knowing they were nice and would have a purpose but having no idea what to use them for and their time finally came. They're nice and solid and hold the paint well and they're the perfect size for little paintings.

Been Painting

I want to paint my way though the whole pack but I've stopped painting while the heat is at it's worst (hopefully) because even just sitting at my desk makes me sweat and the paint is going gloopy really fast. But I'll be back to these little paintings. I like the finished paintings but even more than that I liked painting them.

Been Painting

I find brushes really difficult and I can't quite make it do what I want but for some reason this time around none of that bothered me and it was just a good time. I used to find mixing colours really stressful too but I think I've reached a point in my life in general where I'm just like (or at least trying to be like) "it is what is and that's fine" and it found it's way into my painting, maybe it isn't the exact shade I was aiming for but does that actually even matter? I don't think so.
So yeah, keep trying things if you get the urge. If something feels rubbish and you don't want to do it then don't waste your time, there's so much you do want to do but if something was rubbish last time and you get an urge to try again then maybe it wont be rubbish this time :)

Been Painting

I made this vlog over the days I was painting these ^_^

Monday, 23 July 2018

Shop Update ~ Stickers and Kpop Zine

Boring But Not Bored Sticker Set

Some recent (sort of, I'm lazy at blogging) new things in my shop. This hand cut set of stickers. I tried a new type of paper for these and I'm really pleased with them.

Yes I Want Some New Zine

Yes I Want Some New Zine

My kpop fanzine! I worked on this for a long time (not as long as it took Blackpink to have a comeback though) and it's 32 pages of random thoughts and drawings from an old lady kpop fan (me)(not that old)(kinda old tho).

Thank You Stickers

I also made new business stickers, (business cards....but....stickers) and some thank you stickers to use with orders. I put a pdf of the thank you stickers in my shop so you can use them on orders or whatever too ^_^

I'm trying to harness my last post about enjoying summer while simultaneously cursing the heat. It's so stuffy and horrible today and I think my brain is going to swell right up and burst out of my head. I hope your brain is less swollen.