Saturday, 22 April 2017

InstaSnowLineStoryApp #10



I downloaded Snow and had to delete Snapchat hence the slight name change of these posts. Having not much phone memory means making these tough decisions, but that strawberry milk filter was much needed in my life/on my face.







Thursday, 20 April 2017

some sketchbook

Untitled

Drawing in my sketchbook always makes me feel better so to counter my last post which was not very happy I thought I'd also upload some recent drawings from my sketchbook. Not long ago I had a massive sort out in my studio and sitting at my desk now is a much nicer time so I've been doing things in my sketchbook that I like a lot more than I was doing before. I always wonder if other people can see any difference or if it's all in my head lol. Either way, I'm having a nice time with it. I think the main difference is that I have all my markers in front of me and I actually sit at my desk rather than just on the sofa so my sketchbook has a lot more colour in it now.

Untitled
Jean Claws Van Crab

redbubble / society6

Untitled
Untitled

I'm off to my desk to do some more drawing ^_^

just keep swimming

Untitled

I've been plodding along with not a lot happening really. I'm still managing to do veda which I feel proud about. Although I just noticed I have one less subscriber than I did yesterday so that's a good mood boost lol. We had easter sunday off together, Will did me an egg hunt, we watched Moana and The Force Awakens for the second times (´ ∀ ` *) and then Avengers Age of Ultron for the first time (o-_-o) and we ate a lot of roast potatoes. It was really nice to have a day off together, we don't do it enough. Being self employed is dumb (but is also brilliant and keeps us sane, for the most part).

Untitled

I'm feeling very unsure of myself lately and am trying to not let it stop me from working seeing as that will just make it worse. It is very hard to be creative when you feel like you're the least creative person ever to try and create something but I know my brain is just being mean and even if I am rubbish I won't get better if I stop trying.

Untitled
Untitled

I've been trying to 'go shopping' more often. For various reasons I prefer to get clothes from second hand or independent places and I guess if you don't look in charity shops often there's much less chance of finding things. Especially seeing as ours never seem to have anything I would want. I always get so jealous when I see people online in their thrift stores or op shops that are huge and full of all sorts of stuff from all sorts of styles and we have tiny little charity shops that seem to only sell the most bland bits of what you could buy on the high street last year.
I always think of charity shops as magical places that sell anything and everything and then in reality they seem to be heavily dictated by the person who runs it deciding 'people won't want that, throw it out'. Which is fine, it's their shop. Maybe it's just the charity shops I can get to, maybe I'm just too picky but whatever the reasons, I often go out thinking "yeah, I'm going to just poke about and hopefully I'll find something, maybe not but it'll still be fun to have a rummage" and once I'm actually out of the house I just get anxious and stressed. I find it hard to be around people and then on top of that I don't find anything I like and I end up feeling very woe is me about it. But it gets me down sometimes wearing clothes I bought 7 years ago that don't really feel like me anymore so I have to keep trying. And we do have Looses Emporium which gives me hope for finding clothes eventually maybe.



It's weird at the minute. I don't feel especially bad but I also don't feel especially good. It's like I've accepted the negative thoughts and feelings and am just like fine, that's how it is, what can I do. Which doesn't feel healthy to be honest. The moral of this post seems to be 'just keep trying' but sometimes it's hard to believe that anything will come out of it. I hate being negative on here but it might help a bit if I get it out and send it away to the internet. Sorry if you've read all of this and I've made you feel down (or annoyed at my whingeyness)! I'm sure things will pick up, gotta just keep trying. haha.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

having a nice time

Untitled
Untitled

The weather has been so nice lately, dry and sunny and warm and just like you want spring to be. It's much easier to get work done when the weather is bright. (They're listed in my Etsy)

Untitled
Untitled

My parents came up for a weekend. It's the first time I'd seen them this year and the first time I'd seen mum since she'd had someone literally touch her spine so it felt super good to spend some time with them and see for myself that she was fixed ^_^

Untitled
Untitled
Untitled

More evidence of the nice weather. I took my sketchbook outside for the day on Sunday after mum and dad left and even though my eyes exploded from hayfever it was totally worth it.

Untitled

I got my March zine made. I don't know if I say this every time but I love making these. It's really good to pick out all your favourite drawings from the month, put them in one place and think to yourself, "Maybe I'm not all that bad at drawing or super unproductive after all."

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

having a go at veda

I'm having a go at veda, vlog every day april. I'd been planning to do it and on the first I didn't feel like it but by the fifth I did feel like it (I'm so complex) so I started late but I'm doing it now and trying to not be weird about how it won't actually be every day. I won't post every video here but they're all on my youtube if you'd like to look and I'll probably dot my favourites into my other posts during the month. I really enjoyed doing vlogmas but my december is busy in a repetitive work kind of a way rather than an interesting fun time holidays kind of way so I feel like april is a better time for me to get my daily vlog achievement feeling while making more interesting (? maybe) videos. It's still only the random shambles my videos ever are but maybe that's just my style of video making, random shambles. I know I prefer watching youtube videos that feel a bit more one person powered and like there isn't an agency somewhere behind it at some stage so I shouldn't be so hard on myself while I'm judging my own videos, I'll just get better with practise.



I mean, there's nothing wrong with people getting an agent and making youtube their job and having all fancy equipment and getting sponsered and what not and not everyone with an agent makes boring (to me) videos, I'm just saying the huge polished youtubers don't tend to interest me. I've seen it happen with blogs I love too, the more readers they get the more revenue they get from advertisers so the more worried they are about alienating anyone and the more bland the content gets. Youtube seemed to be an amazing way for people to make their own videos whether that be homemade stories or vlogs or tutorials or whatever and to also have the chance to see what some random person was up to that they otherwise wouldn't be able to share and then advertisers realised they could make money from this cool new thing and now 'youtuber' has become like a style of video making and people are pandering to companies (or just general clickbait *eyeroll*) and it sometimes feels a bit stale. I wish they'd at least change the search algorithm so it was easier to find stuff that doesn't have millions of subscribers and views already. It's a shame there must be so much great stuff getting lost underneath the videos that already have a massive following and don't really need to always be the top results.



One type of video gripe I really do have is seasonal/monthly favourites videos being in the middle of the month. It's not your favourite thing that month if the month isn't over, it's something you bought a week ago and there's some broken part of your brain that feels the need to let people know about it so they too can go out and buy it before the month is up. Stop doing free work for companies that can afford to spend thousands on advertising. I like seeing things that people have enjoyed, whether it's something that is or isn't available anymore but buying something and making a video about how awesome you think it is even though you haven't actually used it yet is so weird to me. There's a difference between sharing something because you enjoyed it and think other people might want to know about it too and sharing something because you hope to eventually make money from sharing things. It also feels super wasteful if people are buying things for the sake of making a video. I don't know, people can do what they like, I don't have to watch it, it just makes me uncomfortable when people pander to massive corporations. We shouldn't be trying to make companies like us, companies should be trying to make us like them. (I've realised that the 'like's in that sentence could be read as 'similar to' which is the opposite of what I mean and much more like what is actually happening and now I can't stop reading it as that lol)



Anyway, I don't want to end on a negative rant. I love watching videos people have made. It's amazing and awesome. Please share you're favourite videos/channels so I can find more awesome things to look at. My liked videos/subscriptions are public on my channel so feel free to have a nosey through that if you'd like to see some of what I watch ^_^

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

a not dramatic sounding title

Untitled

Not really anything to share image wise this week but I wanted to keep up with what I've been doing here. The reason for it is we had a really horrible, sad Saturday a week or so ago and it just made me not very interested in things for a while. The short story is we had to have Bernard, our rabbit, put down and it broke my heart. Pets are strange and wonderful things and he was really important to me and now he's not here anymore and it's the weirdest thing.

Untitled

It turned out I didn't feel like looking at any social media after that. It wasn't like a conscious decision, I just noticed that I hadn't looked at anything for a few days and then I figured I'd intentionally take a break from it for another few days. So I didn't look at twitter or instagram at all for just over a week. I don't really use them that much but I definitely waste time on there so I thought it'd be a nice break, even if I was going to sit and stare blankly at something I'd have to do with just myself and not the hundreds of voices sharing hundreds of things.
It wasn't hard actually. I kept thinking I should be sharing things because of self promotion/work but generally I was alright without it. I like seeing all the things people share, I try really hard to only follow people that are interesting in one way or another so my social media isn't a bad place to be anyway but I feel much better for not looking at it all the time. And now that I'm allowing myself to look again I find I haven't that much anyway. I love the internet and I love seeing all the things but, I don't know how to describe it, my brain feels fresher or something for having not looked at so much stuff for a while. I'll definitely be careful how much time I spend just mindlessly scrolling through things from now on.

Untitled

Speaking of feeling like I should share things for self promotion, I listed the pattern for these bunnies in my etsy. I thought people might like it before Easter.



When I was filming this past week or so I was kind of making myself do it when my heart wasn't entirely in it but I had an idea for making some sort of quick little clips type of thing and just concentrated on that to get me picking up the camera and filming little bits of video. I'm not sure it turned out how I had it in my head but ain't that just the way. At least I managed to make something.

I tried all sorts of relevant titles for this post and they all sounded so dramatic I just couldn't stick with any of them. 

Sunday, 26 March 2017

learning feet

Untitled

For the past few months I've been letting my folksy shop items expire, I just wasn't getting the sales over there to warrant the effort of keeping track of two shops, and the last one expired yesterday. So no more folksy but I had a big sort out for my etsy making sure I knew what stock I have and what was listed and all that good boring stuff. I'm super organised now though.

Untitled
Untitled

I've been watching a lot of Audra Auclair's videos lately. I've followed her for a while on youtube but recently got a hankering to work my way through all her videos (like I do, because I'm a creep. Or does everyone do that? I don't know...). She gets me really wanting to draw even more than I want to anyway. She's mentioned how she uses pinterest for collecting reference and the like and I realised I would find that really useful too, I use my phone a lot for reference when I'm drawing in my sketchbook and I often end up spending so much time searching for something to draw from and it's a bit of a waste. So I made a load of boards that fit with what I feel like I need (I'm sure they'll change as I use them) and am slowly building up some things to draw from. It'll be great to have this collection of pictures to choose from and not need to spend so much of my drawing time thinking of what to look up and then looking for it and then trying to find a good image. It'll all be there :)

Untitled

One of my boards at the minute is for some homework I've given myself, draw 100 pairs of feet. I've heard people mention a few times some sort of challenge for if there's something you hate drawing/need work on, draw it 100 times and you'll not hate it anymore/be able to do it or something. I haven't bothered to look it up because I don't want to get too caught up in someone else's way of learning but I thought what I do know of it sounds good. Whenever I draw a full person I get to the feet and just hate it. I mean I obviously want to work on other aspects of my people too but feet really bother me so I thought, draw 100 feets!

Untitled
Untitled

I'm choosing to do a few a day, I need to really concentrate on angles and things and let it sink in. If I drew 100 pairs of feet in one day I don't think I'd learn anything so I'm taking my time with it. I'm also a little worried it's going to become an 'urgh I have to draw today's feet now' project I hate and I'll end up ruining feet for myself but I'm going to do my best to avoid that mind set lol. Anyway I'm only at the beginning of my hundred and it's so hit and miss. One drawing I'm all, 'yeah, I can totally draw feet' and the next 'oh my goooooooosh I can't draw at all'. The more you look at things and draw them the better you get though so it's definitely worth doing I think ^_^

Untitled

A few days ago this old drawing I did of some boobs got shared a lot on instagram and I had an email from someone asking if it was available as a print so I cleaned it up and added it to my society6 and redbubble for them. I didn't worry about making it fit all the products (it fit a much wider range on redbubble if you're interested) but I have decided to leave it up. Also new to my print to order shops is this 'It's All Fine' design. They're definitely not actually in a panic, it's fine.



Here's my pinterest if you're interested :)