Wednesday, 18 July 2018


Tbh I'm not a big fan of summer, it makes me uncomfortable. I get hot and sweaty and can't think straight. I'm itchy from bug bites and the heat itself and also hayfever which as well as making them itchy also causes my nose and eyes to stream. I feel a constant reminder that I am too poor (and therefore useless and bad at life) to afford all the fruit I want to eat because it's fruit weather. The sun feels good on my skin for about a minute then I feel prickly and like I'm cooking. When it's stuffy and humid I feel like I can't breathe properly and my skin rubs on itself.

BUT I want to like summer. So I'm trying my best to enjoy it. I get a similar feeling with summer as I do with nostalgia, it should be a really good time even though you know it wasn't. The difference is that while I can feel nostalgic listening to pop punk and put aside the sadness of my teen years, summer keeps on coming back so I want to embrace that nostalgic summer days feeling and try to quiet the whingey reality of it.

I appreciate the long days and the bright, good quality light. There's no need to have the heating on. Nature's looking pretty good and it's nice to be warm. Juices and fruits taste so much better in the summer, not because they're any different but because the setting is. I can eat houmous with veg sticks for days and not get bored. I (oddly maybe) enjoy the look of bug bites and scratches and bruises that come from being outside in the wild and being able to wear shorts while you do it. Sitting outside and being barefoot feels so good.
My birthday is in the summer so you'd think I'd have a pre-programmed love for it but I just don't, I'm going to work on it though so when I do go outside I can enjoy it a little bit more.

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