Monday, 20 August 2018

Taking Myself On Dates

I've known for a long time that this would be good for me but for various pessimistic reasons I never did anything about it. Not anymore though! I have promised myself dates, I'm going to try and take myself on a date once a week. When we are relaxed and not trying really hard to think about work it opens our brains up to thoughts we wouldn't have otherwise had, these new thoughts and relaxed-ness makes us more creative. Also everyone deserves time off.
Another reason this will be good for me is that I don't leave the house very often and when I do it's very much to get something done. Food shopping, post office, I need a pen. I get out, do the thing, come home. When I'm going to go out I get anxious about it and take a lot of time making sure I'm actually ready to leave the house. While I'm out I'm super aware of myself and everyone around me and it feels horrible. Going outside more often will surely only help me with this.
So I'm taking myself on dates, it doesn't have to be anything special it just has to be not work and truly not work. Not like how I sit on the sofa in the evening feeling guilty that I'm not working and thinking about what work I'll do next and being tired because it's the end of the day. No work, no chores, just date. Once a week for a few hours or whatever. Some time to myself to tune out.
My first date with myself I decided to check out some charity shops I haven't visited in forever. I had some birthday money so I didn't have to risk finding things I couldn't afford and getting sad (something else I'm going to work on, I'll never enjoy shopping centres but I'm going to learn to enjoy wandering round interesting places without spending money) and I had a nice time. I even found some new clothes.

A pair of bright yellow joggers, they look cute with the hems rolled up and I'm going to try and add pockets. And a pink jumper. What I really need is cardigans but big jumpers are a weakness of mine. And then I had a wander round Loose's, a second hand, antique, collectable, jumble wonderland and I just by chance came across these copies of Deadline with Tank Girl on the cover and nearly cried. I couldn't believe it. I have no idea if these issues are important or rubbish but I don't care about such things. Tank Girl is so important to me and this is where she's from and it had never occurred to me to try and find any copies (how are magazines from so long ago still intact?! It always amazes me.) and here these were, just waiting for me! And if they aren't cool enough, one of them still has a fuckin' Booga trading card attached to the front!!!!!! I still can't quite believe it. There's a bit of mould round the edges but I reckon I'll be able to get the worst of it off.
Then I got some snacks and I sat cross legged on a bench with my bike leaned up next to me and I ate my snacks and it was awesome and I came home and my first date was a success. I already feel like it's working (and not just because I bought some cool stuff).

If you want to see me ramble some similar stuff and see the things I bought moving around that's in a weekly vlog video with some other bits and pieces here.

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