Sunday, 15 October 2017

pretty skies

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Ok so this vlog and my last update post kind of overlap and make everything weird. I maybe need to re-evaluate how I do these posts but whatever. I'm pretty sure I already explained Pixel's current state/last vet visit and now we're halfway through this course of antibiotics and he is still taking them like the good cheese fiend he is.

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I got asked to draw a new icon for someone I'm already a fan of this week which is pretty exciting, when I can shut up the anxiety and self doubt anyway. But it is a really fun commission and I can't wait to see it finished and in use.

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I don't know if it's always this pretty and I don't normally notice or if the sky has been on finer form this week but there have been a few nights recently where everything is just so pink and lovely. I love autumn (we found a small slug in the house this morning so it does have it's down sides)(what's it like to live in a house that fits together properly?)



Shameless self promotion time. I'd really love it if you would get yourself or a friend something from any of my shops, it's a pretty slow time of year and Pixel is trying real hard to be the most expensive rat ever so any purchases would be even more appreciated than usual ^_^
Also, if there's something crochet you want from my Etsy shop I probably won't be making more of them so you really should snap it up now anyway.
I'm also at a weird place where I'm saving up for a tablet so I can be more productive but that's kind of stopping me from spending money on other materials, so I'm having lots of plans for things I want to make and not being able to buy the stuff I need to make them (which will stop me from earning money from these ideas and plans) and needing to buy a nebuliser for Pixel is going to eat into saving for the tablet so that whole thing is going to take even longer.
That damn pricey rat, that damn pricey, adorable, so soft, funny, little weirdo rat that I love so much and want to heal so badly (♡˙︶˙♡) 
But yeah, buy things please, look at his little face, don't you want to help that little face ^_^ 

Saturday, 14 October 2017

painting my dungarees

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I love my dungarees dress. It's a size too big and it's comfy and it's cute but I put it on recently and it made me feel bad. I have issues with leaving the house and feeling like I don't look good. Not in a way that is about whether I look acceptable to other people but I don't often feel like I look like myself and on different days it bothers me different amounts for different reasons. While getting upset about not having clothes that I feel suit me I reminded myself that I could totally just paint stuff. So I did. And I love it.

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Just in case it isn't clear from the video here's how I did it:
I cut a circle in some tracing paper the size I wanted my circles to be.
I used a pointy brush to trace the circles onto the fabric, being careful not to get paint on the stencil so I didn't smudge paint everywhere later, then took off the tracing paper and used a wider brush to fill in the circle.
The paint I used was some cheap acrylic from Tiger (they have some really nice colours) mixed with fabric medium.
Repeat randomly all over the place.
I had a piece of card under the first section but the paint wasn't going through the fabric anyway.
Then I left it on the floor (I could have hung it up lol) for 2 days until the paint wasn't tacky anymore, I think it took a while because of the cord type fabric, and ironed it on the reverse side to set the paint.
Easy!

Tuesday, 10 October 2017

a calmer week, includes painting

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So, since my last post where I was very tired and sad I've had a much better week mentally. Pixel finally took a whole weeks worth of medicine, every last drop. He remained a cheese fiend for the whole week, sometimes it went so easy it felt like we hadn't given him the medicine yet. While it didn't get rid of the whistle in his nose completely he was squeaking a lot less and we felt pretty good about it. We went to the vet again this morning (tuesday, screw trying to have some weird weekly post thing going on, I always run too late to bother with it) and she agreed that he sounded better and said his lungs were fine which is a relief, even if it's not going away completely at least it hasn't moved down either. She gave us a couple of options and what we've gone with is another week of the two antibiotics seeing as they seemed to help last week while we sort out some money to get a nebuliser for him which will come with some magic potion that will actively work to fight the bacteria as he breathes it in. She said we can put all 3 rats in there and it should even help stop any of them flaring up too. It's pricey (it's not one you can just buy for yourself, it needs to be one that will make the vapour particles tiny enough to get in a rats lungs) but once we've bought it we have it forever and we feel it's worth it because rats are magic. It would be an especially good time to buy things from me though... He also has put on another 5 grams so all in all, he's doing ok which makes me happy.

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In other news, last week I avoided a mental melt down about clothes/self esteem by realising I could paint my dungarees which I did and I think they turned out really nice. I filmed a process video but still want to add a bit on the end of me showing them off. I also made my September zine. I can't remember if I mentioned here before but I think I'm kind of done with the monthly zines. I was using them to show myself that I was actually drawing when I felt like I wasn't and to also end up with a tangible something that I'd made on a regular basis. I think they've done their job but I also really want a whole years worth so I'm going to do them right through so that I have a 2017 set. I do still like them but the process can be a bit boring.

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A trip to Pets At Home for rat food turned into just a lot of oooohing and ahhhhing at all the adorable animals. That pink eyed gerbil(❤ฯ‰❤)

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It's the best time of year again, this means stodgy food and cosy snuggles and colourful walks ^_^

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Tuesday, 3 October 2017

sad and tired

I had a hard time last week. If you watch the vlog you can see me get progressively more worn down. I actually thought about keeping the vlog private but the combination of knowing not many people (maybe no one) will watch it and wanting to be open and honest I thought I may as well make it public. It doesn't have any deep, dark info about me, it's just not very fun to watch. I get in such conflicts with myself about only putting positive fun things out into the world but also believing that sharing and talking about tough stuff is really important.

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I've just been super stressed, super tired and super trying to not just cave and do nothing. So I did manage to make myself a new purse which I painted, sewed and added lining to only half of because I want to see how various things hold up to maybe make some for work. I filmed me making this and sped it up time lapse style (is time lapse specific to photos? I dunno) and I'll put that video in here too. I also did do some drawings I like, especially this one which I like mostly because I added stickers.


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Pixel update: he got wise to the meds being in the baby food and we ended up having to syringe it into his mouth again so that he'd at least get some of it but he totally learnt how to just hold it in front of his tongue and then wipe it all over Will. We had our 3rd vet visit and they added a new antibiotic and said we didn't need to bother with the anti-inflammatory seeing as that was most difficult to get him to eat. So he's now on two different antibiotics twice a day and we are at last successfully hiding them in cheesy cauliflower and broccoli baby food and squeezy cheese. Turns out he's a cheese fiend. He is actually getting full doses of medicine now which is good to know. He may or may not stop wheezing after this but at least we know now that he will have had a whole course. (Fingers crossed anyway, every time I go to give it to him I expect it to be the time he cottons on and doesn't want it anymore!) He had also put on 5 grams which is nothing for a rat of his age but it's better than him losing weight so I'm at least massively relieved by that.



It's a few days now since the last day in the vlog and I'm still stressed and tired but I'm feeling a bit better and I'm actively making plans and little actions to make myself feel better too. Writing stuff like this down always sounds so dramatic (and I feel like I say it over and over again way to often) and I'm not trying to be dramatic I just really am having a hard time with myself and I'm making an effort to fix it๐Ÿ‘

Monday, 25 September 2017

london tattoo convention and rat update

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I started the week making friends with a pigeon then we had our re-check at the vet that we knew wouldn't just be a check up because Pixel was still squeaky. The rats all did really well, they were much calmer this time which was really nice. Pixel is on another week of the same meds. At first he was even more resistant to taking it this time but we seem to have found the right mix of roast dinner baby food and meds that he'll eat it without too much hassle so fingers crossed he keeps that up and gets better. He hadn't got any bigger over the week and at his age he really should be growing so I hope he gets better this week so he can concentrate on getting bigger, poor little thing. He's got me so stressed!

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Then at the end of the week we went to london!!! I haven't been to london in years and I miss it so much. We saved up and advance booked and made it generally as cheap as possible and headed down to the london tattoo convention. Even just the end of the train journey was magical, I love london so much then we got off the train and were actually there! We spent the whole day in the convention so didn't get too much of a london fix but I soaked up that walk between the tube and tobacco dock. Hopefully it won't be as long before we go again, for an actual wander about this time. Anyway the tattoo convention...

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It was really good, I have a lot of issues with the tattoo industry in general (such a fucking exclusionary, dickhead boys club) but at it's root the art and the culture outside of all the dickheads is something I really fucking love and we got to talk to some really nice people and there were some really good artists working. I love the hand done stuff, I could watch those guys all day and in general the feel of the day was really creative and it left me feeling really inspired to work hard at my own art.

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There was an art gallery too which had some really nice stuff in it including the Kintaro Kite Project and some pieces by Horiyoshi III. The two pieces of his here, under the kite pictures, have his own blood on which is pretty cool. You know it's actual blood as soon as you see it, I don't think you could use anything else to look quite the same. We got to hear someone from the Japanese Gallery talk about the process behind japanese woodcuts too and it was so so so interesting.

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It was a really good day and we came home with some pretty things. There were some seriously good business cards kicking about, Will got to buy some actual useful supplies and we got these two pins from Three Tides Tattoo, a japanese studio. They're so cute and we were lucky the guy behind the table when we got them was Nami, the guy that designed them :)

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I look forward to going again next year, hopefully with a bit more spending money!

Sunday, 24 September 2017

Indie Art Haul ~ Mostly Zines

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I spent my birthday money on some bits I've had my eye on from artists I love and thought I would make a haul video to share it all because artists are important and deserve to have videos made about them.



And here are the links to everyone's websites :)
Bunny Bissoux http://www.bunnybissouxart.com/
Synchronise Witches http://cherrystyles.co.uk/synchronise-witches/
Sarah Graley http://sarahgraley.com/
Kawaii Market http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Kawaii-Market
Rayne Klar http://rayne-klar.squarespace.com/
Holly Casio http://www.coolschmool.com/
Gemma Flack http://www.gemmaflack.com/